Hope, Healing & Freedom Podcast : Ep 16
TRANSCRIPT
Today’s podcast we are continuing our series on forgiveness. Here’s a reminder of some of the things we’ve covered in previous podcasts:
- What does the Bible say about forgiveness?
- What it is and what it isn’t?
- What do I do when I don’t feel like forgiving?
- Hindrances of forgiving
- The Benefits of forgiving and the consequences of not forgiving.
- Some other facts about forgiveness vs. unforgiveness
Did you know that forgiving can have a positive impact on your heath? Well, the same is true of not forgiving. It can have a negative outcome on our health.
The good news: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress.
Unforgiveness creates an emotional storm of distress in which feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and fear surface. Unforgiveness also creates a hardened heart. The hardened heart feels anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred toward the offender.
Living in unforgiveness causes you to live out of your pain and have beliefs that limit you. What do I mean? Well, let’s use the example of the friend that betrayed you. If you have unforgiveness towards them it will obviously affect your relationship with them. Also, you most likely will have a belief something like this:
Others cannot be trusted. I must always guard my heart and the things that I share with others.
Think about that for a minute. If you’re constantly in guarded mode you will not be able to have deep friendships with others. You will expect that they will let you down. That’s a limiter in life! It will keep you from experiencing life to its fullest! In RTF we call that a Belief – Expectation – Cycle. Out of the pain of your real life experience you develop a belief. From that belief you develop an expectation that similar things are going to happen to you. Because of this belief and the expectation that similar things will happen, it affects the way that you live your life. The way to break out of the cycle is to come out of agreement with the belief. In fact that belief is a lie and it’s an agreement with the enemy, satan. We call it an ungodly belief.
So, how do you do that? First of all you have to recognize or acknowledge that the belief exists.
Then you have to be willing to come out of agreement with the lie, ask for forgiveness from God for and develop a new Godly Belief. That’s one of the things we talk about in our ministry time in Restoring the Foundations.
First of all at least three negatives about holding onto unforgiveness. First, if we don’t forgive we don’t receive forgiveness. That was the scripture we talked about in Matthew. Secondly, it affects our physical body. Thirdly, it affects our relationships and our ability to really experience the abundant life that Christ died to give us. Let me add one more.
Heb. 12:15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
So,if we fail to forgive we are also choosing to not receive the grace of God. Unforgiveness turns into bitterness and it not only affects you but it corrupts those around you. Wow! That is a serious warning!
Okay, alright, I need to forgive! Where do I start?
You need to recognize that there are 4 parts of forgiveness:
- Asking and receiving forgiveness from God for holding onto unforgiveness in your heart.
- Forgiving the person for the pain they caused you.
- Forgiving yourself for anyway that you partnered with the enemy in the unforgiveness.
- Getting your heart healed from the pain of the event.
Well, actually let me back up. There maybe one that comes before that. The very first place to start may be to ask Jesus to help you to give you the grace to forgive. Ask Him to help you to even decide or choose to forgive. When there is pain from the offense it’s difficult to want to forgive. He has told us that he will never leave us or forsake us and that all things are possible with him. Even in the most difficult situations we can choose to forgive.
Jesus would you help me to choose to forgive ______________?
Now for the next part:
Father God, I ask that you would forgive me for holding unforgiveness in my heart towards ____________I receive your forgiveness.
Jesus, I ask you to forgive me for anyway that I judged you for this situation. (Judging – you shouldn’t have allowed this to happen, etc
Next, whether you feel like it or not, decide or choose to forgive.
Jesus, I choose to forgive_______________ for ___________________. I unhook myself from them. I release myself from them and I release them from me. (You’re releasing them from your hook but they’re still on God’s hook)
As your heart is healed, ask for God to bless them.
Father God, I ask that you would bless _______________.
Next: Forgive yourself. Why do I have to forgive myself? If you’re holding onto forgiveness toward yourself your life has been limited.
I choose to forgive myself for anyway that I have partnered with, agreed with this unforgiveness towards _______________.
Finally: Getting your heart healed.
Getting your heart healed sometimes takes time. It may not happen all at once. Sometimes you can process your hurt with Jesus by yourself. Other times to learn the process it may take the help of an experienced RTF minister until you become familiar with the process.
Here are some basic guidelines of how to get your heart healed.
- Picture the event in your mind. Go back to the memory of when the painful event (s) occurred.
- Tell Jesus how you felt in that moment.
- As you look around the memory do you see Jesus with you? We know he’s there somewhere because the word says that he will never leave us or forsake us. (Heb 13:5)
- Now give Jesus all of your negative feelings and emotions. Give him the anger, the disappointment, the betrayal, etc. Whatever emotions you have. Your shock, your trauma. Watch what Jesus does with them.
- Ask Jesus if there is anything else that you need to give to him? Is there anyone else that you need to forgive?
- After all of the negative is gone, all those negative emotions are gone, ask Jesus to come and heal your heart. Just wait and patiently receive His healing.
- Record in your journal what Jesus said or what he did in your memory.
You can go back to this place. It’s truly amazing how creative Jesus is in the healing. We have done this ourselves and with many people and He is always very personal. The way he heals your heart will be different than for others. If you got “stuck” in this process and don’t feel like your heart is healed keep asking for complete healing. If you need assistance in getting the healing needed then please contact our ministry office at restoringthefoundations.org
We will connect you with one of our Ministry Teams and they can assist you.
Prayer:
Father God, Thank you for sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for me. Thank you that I am forgiven as I forgive others. Thank you that as I forgive and get my heart healed that I will experience the abundant life that Christ died to give me. I trust that you will continue to bring healing to my heart as I open myself to you. Open my eyes to see anyway that I have any unforgiveness in my heart towards others, or towards myself or to you. Give me the grace to be able to forgive.
Our Declaration:
I will walk in forgiveness everyday.
Additional Scriptures on Forgiveness:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13
“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
Proverbs 17:9
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Luke 6:37
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ “
Matthew 18:21-22
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Mark 11:25
“Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”
Psalm 32:1
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9
“Hatred stirs old quarrels, but love overlooks insults.”
Proverbs 10:12
“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence.”
Ephesians 1:7-8
“He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”
Colossians 1:13-14
