Hope, Healing & Freedom Podcast : Ep 41
TRANSCRIPT
Do you find you are constantly comparing yourself to others? Or do you get jealous when others get praise and recognition and you don’t? Do you find yourself feeling like you have to fight for everything you can get? These behaviors and many others come from living life from an orphan heart. That is the focus of today’s podcast.
Today’s verse is John 14:18, Jesus says “I will not leave you as orphans.”
I’m Lee Whitman, and I want to continue talking about living our Christian life as spiritual orphans. I am taking much of today’s podcast from the writings of Jack Frost in his books Experiencing the Fathers Embrace and Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship. If you have not read both of these books, I highly recommend them to you. My friends at Amazon can get them for you.
Today we are going to look at different characteristics of living as an orphan and compare that mindset to living life as a dearly loved Son of Father God. These characteristics are not just a mindset, but they are part of a demonically energized stronghold that was released in the Garden of Eden. When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, His deepest desire was to have a relationship with them. So He came to the Garden every evening and spent time with Adam and Eve. He came to them without an agenda, He simply wanted to spend time with them. Then under the deception of the snake in the grass Adam and Eve entered into sin which changed the world forever. From that one decision to eat the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve went from being sons of God (in the bible men and women are called son’s) to orphans. The pressure to live with an orphan mindset has been passed down to every generation of man since then.
Orphan thinking doesn’t just happen to those who did not have parents. The pressure towards orphan thinking began in the Garden and has been passed down to each and every one of us since then. In a way it is the fruit of living life in a world that has turned its back on God and decided to do things their own way. In the US we even sing songs in honor of our orphanness like “I did it my way.”
I am going to walk through a list of 20 characteristics of an orphan. For this podcast you might want to get the text version so you can look at the teaching notes.
The Image of God – orphans see God as a master making him do what the master wants. The orphan sees God as harsh and demanding and very hard to please. The Son sees God as a loving Father who is pleased that he is God’s dearly loved son.
The View of our Position – An orphan sees themselves as a slave or a servant trying to appease their master. Life becomes about what he does. He has to be a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being’. The son sees himself as a dearly loved son or daughter of Father God whose deepest desire is to experience intimacy with his Father.
Who are we dependent upon – The orphan is dependent upon themselves, or independent and self-reliant. “If it is going to be, it is up to me”, is their mantra. The orphan needs to be convinced something is in his self-interest before he does it. The son is dependent on Father God and interdependent on others in the family of God. The son is submissive to the leadership of Father God. The son is motivated by love to do everything the Father asks since there is no fear in love.
The Theology we adhere to – The Orphan has a love of the law to tell him what to do and to give him a tool to measure his success. The orphan wants a list of rules to follow so he knows if he is being successful or not. The son is led by the law of love. The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Being motivated by love, the son willingly does everything asked of him by his Father.
Ability to feel secure – The orphan is insecure, has no peace, struggles with burdens and anxiety. Since his identity is governed by his behavior, he cannot slow down or rest. And he is constantly looking over his shoulder to determine if he is doing enough to measure up. The son is filled with peace and rest. The son operates out of the position of rest knowing that he can’t do one single thing to gain more of his Fathers love and acceptance.
Need for Approval – The orphan seeks the praise of man which leads to striving and insecurity. The orphan is driven by a need to do more, gain more, become more so that he does not lose the approval of others. The orphan seeks public recognition. The son rests in the Father’s acceptance and the fact that he is justified by the grace of God. The son operates from a place of knowing he has his fathers approval, simply because he is his son. So when he does something, whether good or bad, there is no fear of losing Father’s approval.
The motive for service – The orphan is motivated by a need for personal achievement which causes him to envy other people’s success. If others succeed, then he will not appear as successful. When he serves, he must receive recognition for his service. For the son, love precedes service. The son’s service is motivated by a deep gratitude for being loved and accepted unconditionally by the Father. The son can serve without the fear of disapproval of who he is. Father might disapprove of his behavior, but He will never disapprove of him as His son.
Motive behind Bible reading, prayer, service for God – The orphan does these things out of duty and obligation. These acts are a burden. They are a scorecard to prove what a good Christian he is. For the son doing these Christian Disciplines isa pleasure and a delight done out of love for the Father. The son knows that doing these things creates more fellowship and intimacy with his Father so he does them gladly.
Motive for Purity – The orphan must be holy. They are driven by an ever-increasing sense of condemnation and shame. The smallest sin sends the orphan deeper into the pit of despair. The son’s deepest desire is to be holy, not because they have to, but because they want to experience more fellowship with Father. They don’t want anything to hinder their intimacy with Father God.
Image of Self – The orphan compares themselves with others which is a form of self-rejection. The orphan compares himself with others to make sure they are doing enough to measure up. The son knows that he is fully loved and accepted just as he is. Knowing he is fully loved and fully accepted by Father God, the son has no need to compare himself with others. He looks to his Father to get his identity, value and worth.
Handling of others faults – The orphan is quick to bring accusation and expose the fault. This makes them feel better about themselves as they compare themselves to others. The orphan thinks that by bringing others down a notch that will make them look better. The son seeks to cover others’ faults and to restore them in a spirit of love and gentleness. He treats others as he would want to be treated. The son grieves rather than celebrates the faults of others.
Relationship with others – The orphans’ relationships are characterized by competition, rivalry, and jealousy of others success and blessings. If others receive promotion or blessing, that means I will be viewed as less than them. The son values others and is able to rejoice with other’s successes and blessings and grieve with them over their failures. The son knows that if others are blessed or succeed, that takes nothing away from them.
Experience in Life – The orphan experiences bondage. The orphan is in bondage to themselves, to their abilities and talents to make a way for themselves in life. The son experiences liberty because he relies on the abilities of his Father. And his Father can do anything!
Sense of God’s presence – For the orphan God is distant. God is not someone to be known personally and intimately. He is a severe task master to be feared and served. For the son God is close and intimate. He can call Him Abba (Daddy).
Express Love to others – The orphan has to be guarded and their love for others is only expressed based on others performance. The orphan can only give love to those who can do something for them. The orphan needs to get their need for love met through other people, so when that doesn’t happen, the orphan finds someone who can give them what they need. The son can freely express his love for others because his need for love is being met through relationship with Father God. He can love without needing anything back in return.
View of Authority – The orphan sees authority as a source of pain given to control them. They are distrustful of authority’s desire to do what is best for them. They believe that authority will use them to get what they need. The son knows that authority is given by God for his blessing and good. He is honoring and submitted to proper authority. The son can trust his Father God to use the authorities for his blessing and protection.
View of admonition – The orphan has a hard time receiving admonition because of the distrust of authority. They also believe that leaders are trying to take away from their identity. The orphan believes the leader’s motive is to criticize which causes the orphan to lose value. The son will receive admonition as a blessing, knowing that it is needed for him to progress and grow. The son knows that discipline is good for his development and future.
Vision – The orphan is spiritually ambitious in order to be viewed among the spiritually mature. The orphan has to be seen in order for people to recognize him and his achievements. The orphan wants to build their personal kingdom. The son knows that he is privileged to be a representative of Father God to love the family of God and love others. The son lives to experience the love of Father God and to give that love away to the people around him. The son’s greatest desire is to build his Father’s Kingdom.
Future – The orphan has to fight for what they can get. If you get a piece of the pie that means there is less pie for me. The orphan can’t rejoice if you get a raise or are blessed in some way because that means there is less available for him. The son knows that God has all the pie in the world. He is content in what he receives from Father God and is able to rejoice for those who are blessed.
Comfort – The orphan seeks counterfeit comforts through possessions, people, position, escapes like food and alcohol and sexual behavior, even through religious activity. The son daily rests and finds comfort in the loving arms of Father God. If you have recognized that you are plagued by orphan thinking, take heart. There is hope. I want to encourage you to contact our ministry coordinator at healing@restoringthefoundations.org and get an appointment with one of our trained RTF ministers. I would not try to break this stronghold on your own because it runs very deep. Our RTF ministers know how to get to the root of this issue and bring God’s solution.
